Feeling Trapped As a Caregiver

Nov 21, 2016

 By Elder Law Attorney Rick Law. As an attorney advocate for senior care in the Western Chicago suburbs, Rick Law and the friendly and experienced staff at Law Elder Law are here to help you get all your ducks in a row and plan for the worst-case scenario.    

Recently Loretta, a caregiver client, visited our office and I sat down with her to ask about her experience as a caregiver for her husband, who has been affected by Alzheimer’s for the past decade.  Serving as a caregiver for a loved one with long-term care needs has a unique set of feelings and experiences, which we at LEL strive to understand and accommodate.

One of her strongest statements was the feeling that “It makes you feel so trapped… financially and socially… there are just so many unexpected areas of burden.  The weight of it all traps you underneath.”  As a caregiver, you are often left with few choices save for how you will respond in any given situation.  Because of this, it is common for many caregivers to burn out.

You can’t control your schedule. You can’t control your loved one’s incontinence or sleeping times.  You can’t control what they are going to say or what they are going to do. You lose all freedom. Often you find that you lack control over the most basic areas of your life.

As for social activities, Loretta told us “We both love music, and Stephen and I used to attend concerts together.  After he was diagnosed it became more difficult to take him along, and eventually it got to the point where it was just too much effort and he didn’t enjoy it anymore.”

Even having friends over is difficult. “What do you say to them?” she said, “And what do they say to you? It’s extremely awkward, disheartening, and embarrassing. In addition, there are times when Stephen became very angry, and because I’m doing the care-giving, I’m right there for him to express his frustration.  I don’t want other people to see that. Remember, you can’t control anything. You lose all your freedom.”

As I listened to Loretta share her experience caring for Stephen at home, I could not help but admire once again all the caregivers out there.  Her story served as yet another reminder of why we at Law Elder Law do what we do: provide counsel and help to those who lovingly sacrifice their wealth, health, freedom, and careers to provide loving care for a spouse, child, or parent.

If you’re ready to start getting your estate in order and secure your assets for the “worst-case” scenario, please give our office a call at 800-310-3100. Your first consultation is absolutely free.  We’ll let you know what steps you need to take, right now, to protect yourself and your family.  Call now.

Sincerely,

Rick L. Law, Attorney, Estate Planner for Retirees.

Rick has been named the #1 Illinois elder law estate planning attorney from 2008-2016 by Leading Lawyer Magazine. He has been quoted in the Wall Street Journal, AARP Magazine, TheStreet.com, and numerous newspapers and articles. Rick is the lead attorney for Law Elder Law, LLP, focusing in Estate Planning, Guardianship, and Nursing Home Solutions. His goal is to give retirees an informed edge when it comes to dealing with an uncertain future.  Get flexible retirement strategies that work during good times and bad, plus information on how you can save your home and assets from being used to pay for long term care.  Call 800-310-3100 for your free consultation now!